Tony gave me a book this morning. It’s full of jokes about lawyers and written, purportedly, by a rat. Here’s his dedication. He asked me to post it and I wasn’t about to refuse. Thanks, Tony.
Archive for August, 2007
“We haven’t really discussed that murder of the St. Catharines’ guy by those four homeless people. ”
“Well as far as I’m concerned, they must’ve been provoked. Homeless people don’t get in fights with regular folks unless they’ve got to. Maybe if they’re on acid, but you gotta wonder even then. One thing’s for sure — no one’s ever going to find out, one way or the other.”
“I see you’ve got yourself a luxury pad for your bum, Mr. Clemens.”
“And, let me tell you, when I’m done the day, it folds up nice too.”
“How about we do a photo shoot?”
“Where do I stand?”
PS: Question – What would make this blog better? Thanks for your comments. – Philip
“Did I ever tell you about this guy who tossed me a quarter and he says to me:, ‘I hope you aren’t gonna use that for cocaine.’ So I say ‘excuse me,’ and then said to him that I didn’t use cocaine and he could take back his quarter if he wanted.
“Then he comes back another time and says that he was wrong to say what he said.
“You know, now we’re best buddies.”
I just sent this letter to the Globe regarding their editorial promoting tough treatment for hostile panhandlers (apologies for the small-size scan):
To the Editors:
Stiffer enforcement of hostile panhandling laws is both impractical and inhumane.
Any beggar, whether hostile or not, that is perceived as a pest by local retailers will be swept from the streets. Consequently, jail populations will grow, as the hapless perpetrators are generally without the means to pay fines. For those not placed behind bars, expect further overflow in our dismal mental health depots.
Are such results acceptable?
Forcible confinement of panhandlers, homeless or otherwise, is monstrous. This very point is explicitly recognized even by Calgary’s business community. Recently, TransAlta and Suncor — among many others — made a comprehensive commitment to finance a cure for the city’s homelessness problems. Provision of housing, along with requisite social, medical and psychological services are centerpiece of their plan. Of course, Calgary’s booming energy sector has substantially worsened that city’s homeless situation. Nonetheless, they have chosen an approach both pragmatic and compassionate.
The problem of beggar-related harassment and violence is serious. Our approach should be serious too.
Philip Stern, Toronto
Note: The author blogs at homelessmanspeaks.com.
“You see that guy on the bicycle? Now him you’ve gotta keep your eyes open for.”
“That guy? Why?”
“You see how he rode by that parked car, the white one over there? He slowed right down when he saw something on her car seat, probably it’s her purse. So he does a couple of u-turns so he can ride by her car again and grab the purse. If you ask me, the only reason he didn’t grab for it is that she was just coming back out the store. I’ll bet you she’ll never know what just went down, which is like most people if you ask me.”
… since his nephew placed a comment under “Nothing rhymes with orange” — also see previous post immediately below. As such, he doesn’t know about his nephew’s comment, which (I believe) could bode a life-changing re-connection in Tony’s life. I’m out of web range until Saturday, Aug. 11th. If you’re a Roncesvalles local and you see Tony, please relate the gist of his nephew’s message.
Please see the first comment in Tony’s July 2nd posting, “Nothing rhymes with orange“.