Archive for June, 2008

Money to burn

June 30, 2008

TONY
“You see this cigar … a guy just came by and gave it to me. it’s a $65 Havana cigar. What am I supposed to do with a $65 cigar?

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Fearsome food fight

June 23, 2008

TONY
“See this cut on my arm … I got it from a raccoon. I was sleeping outside a few days back and he came up to me and he tried to take my bag of food away; I mean the bag was right next to me. Well of course he wakes me up and no way I’m letting go of my bag — but he got me here before I chased him off. Those raccoons aren’t afraid of anything anymore.”

The grate unknown

June 18, 2008

PHILIP
“Where did you sleep last night?”

TONY
“In the park; at least it was warm.”

PHILIP
“I thought you were all set up to sleep inside this week.”

TONY
“Phil, why would you ask me where I was sleeping last night if you already knew?”

PHILIP
“I can’t ask you a question about where you slept last night?”

TONY
“Phil, I gotta say you are being touchy this morning. You get enough sleep last night?”

The lock down

June 17, 2008

TONY
“Check out my new lock. After getting my bench stolen two times I had to do something, if you know what I mean.”

In the ribs

June 16, 2008

TONY
“You should have seen the dinner I had last night. You know the new restaurant, Eva’s just up here. Well the owner comes out, asks me if I like ribs. Beef ribs.

“Do I like ribs? Me? No kidding, do I like ribs? The guy tells me somebody ordered the ribs but then changed their mind. So I can see that the ribs were already paid for — were they ever delicious. Almost as thick as my wrist plus they were so tender that you could take ’em apart with just tooth picks. I didn’t even get to the corner at Howard Park before I’d inhaled all of them.

“Man, I love ribs, especially beef ribs. You would have loved them, Phil.”

If you know what I mean

June 13, 2008

PHILIP
“Do you anything about that streetperson who’s coming down the street now?”

TONY
“Oh yea, him. You know, he’s actually a pretty nice guy. But there’s sure something broken upstairs and I think he might be getting worse.

“You ever heard the old saying about being sorry that you’ve got no shoes — and then you run into a guy who’s got no feet? Well, he’s one of those guys with no feet, if you know what I mean.”

——
P.S.: FYI, Tony’s saying comes from Sa’di, a Persian scholar who lived 800 years ago — see more near the bottom: classics.mit.edu/Sadi/gulistan.html. ps

The Obama/Webb ticket

June 9, 2008

PHILIP
“You know, Tony, I think it’s going to be an Obama/Webb landslide.”

TONY
“Then I’d say that’s the one to ride, Phil.”

Keeping it all together

June 8, 2008

TONY
“How are you doing?”

PHILIP
“I just finished putting a bunch of stuff in my basement.”

TONY
“Yup. Know what you mean. My Dad was always mad with my Mom about all the junk she kept in the basement. She was some packrat, which is what he called her sometimes. It got so bad that we couldn’t find the things my Mom saved, like especially snow shovels. So my Dad would get totally frustrated and he’d go buy another shovel. I think we ended up with — it must have been — eight shovels one time.” 

Dreams from the grandfather

June 3, 2008

TONY
“Hey Phil, they’re now saying it’s Obama for sure. Somebody was telling me that this is the ‘Obama Revolution’. Never thought I’d see it in my own lifetime.”

Awash in freedom

June 2, 2008

PHILIP
“Hey, new watch?”

TONY
“Yup. Found it at the car wash the other day.”

PHILIP
“What, did someone just drop it on the floor?”

TONY
“No, I found it in the trash.”

PHILIP
“A working watch?”

TONY
“It’s even got one of those green night lights in it. Free too.”

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