The word from the street
TONY
“You see all those signs over there? Well this guy comes driving down Ronces and — right in front of a policeman standing right there he drives right round those signs there so the cop knocks on his windows and asks him how big those signs have to be so the guy could read them. And you know, I think the old guy couldn’t even read, if you ask me.”
TONY
You know, there’s this guy down the street, sometimes he hangs around a bar down there that’s been spooking some girls on the street, I mean some 13-years-olds even. I think he’s even been getting on the bus and following them for a bit. Anyway, I think I know who it is that doing it. I’ll tell you, the next time I get to talk to the cops, I’ve got something to tell ’em.”
TONY
“Got myself another ticket this morning.”
PHILIP
“No.”
TONY
“Yup. Cop comes up to me, gives me a ticket for panhandling near a transit vehicle. You what the transit vehicle is? The streetcar; how am I gonna be on the side walk and not be near a street car. If you can figure that out, you could probably win the Nobel Prize.
“So as soon as the cop comes up to me and starts writing me up a ticket, six people come out of Timothy’s and start giving him hell but he says he’s’just doing my job. So he gives me the ticket and he feels so bad, he comes back and offers to buy me a coffee. So he bought me a tea.”
TONY
“You know, I almost got arrested the other night, you know when it was really freezing and there was no electricity?”
PHILIP
“This seems to be an all-too-regular occurrence, if you don’t mind me saying so. I mean the ‘arrested’ part.”
TONY
“Well what can I say.
“Anyway, I found this trailer so I got inside. One of my regulars owns it and I figured he wouldn’t mind even if he knew I was there. I was so damn cold I had to get out of the wind somehow.”
PHILIP
“So how did you nearly get arrested?”
TONY
“Well I had my bike light that I was using for light inside, and then it started flashing and a cop car was cruising by and the cop could see my light flashing from inside the trailer. So of course he comes to investigate and he finds me and gets me out, you know, to question me. So I just tell him the truth, that it was really cold and I didn’t break anything or steal anything. Well he tells me he could charge me with B&E, but he’s not that kind of guy, and besides, he probably would have done the same thing in my situation.”
PHILIP
“Sounds like a pretty decent guy … ”
TONY
“No kidding. That’s not even half of it. He has me get in the cruiser with him and we drive to down the Coffee Time but it’s closed just like everything else with the power problems they had. So we find some place that’s open, he buys me a coffee and then he drives me back to Ronces. It was bitter cold out there but at least he went easy on me.”
PHILIP
“You’re looking a bit pale this morning.”
TONY
“I’m sure I am. So, here’s my question to you for this morning. See if you can guess why a cop evicted me from a park last night?”
PHILIP
“OK I give up.”
TONY
“Some lady didn’t like that I was snoring so loud in the park. Seems her cat tore right through the window screen because of all the noise I was making. So she called the cops. She even wants me to pay for a new window screen for her.
“I never knew that it was against the law to snore too loud but it is.”
PHILIP
“C’mon, you’re just making this up, right?”
TONY
“No word of a lie, Phil. It’s what actually happened.”
Homeless Man Speaks 
