Archive for January, 2009
Coffee Anonymous
January 30, 2009
Tony gets off
January 24, 2009
?”
TONY
“I got off yesterday.”
PHILIP
“What was that???”
TONY
“The judge said I didn’t have to do my 20 hours of community service. And you know who saved me … it was the crown prosecutor.”
PHILIP
“Who?”
TONY
“The crown prosecutor.”
PHILIP
“The crown prosecutor argued on your behalf?”
TONY
“Yup. He said that the case should never’ve got this far. He told the judge that the evidence just wasn’t strong enough. He said that I wasn’t at the wheel of the car, plus there weren’t any fingerprints that tied me to the crime.
“Then the judge said that he knew I was having trouble getting a place to do my 20 hours of the community service. He’d even read the blog about it.”
PHILIP
“So that’s it, no community service?”
TONY
“Yeah, but I’ll still try to help when I can.”
Two score and nine years ago …
January 20, 2009
TONY
“You know, I still remember those college kids doing their lunch counter sit-ins. What year was that, about 1960?”
PHILIP
“I believe you’re right on that.”
TONY
“Well, with the big Obama thing happening today, it shows you that impossible things sometimes happen. It’s like the miracles in the Bible — people wouldn’t believe them but they were still true, if you know what I mean.”
Cool comfort
January 17, 2009
TONY
“You know, I almost got arrested the other night, you know when it was really freezing and there was no electricity?”
PHILIP
“This seems to be an all-too-regular occurrence, if you don’t mind me saying so. I mean the ‘arrested’ part.”
TONY
“Well what can I say.
“Anyway, I found this trailer so I got inside. One of my regulars owns it and I figured he wouldn’t mind even if he knew I was there. I was so damn cold I had to get out of the wind somehow.”
PHILIP
“So how did you nearly get arrested?”
TONY
“Well I had my bike light that I was using for light inside, and then it started flashing and a cop car was cruising by and the cop could see my light flashing from inside the trailer. So of course he comes to investigate and he finds me and gets me out, you know, to question me. So I just tell him the truth, that it was really cold and I didn’t break anything or steal anything. Well he tells me he could charge me with B&E, but he’s not that kind of guy, and besides, he probably would have done the same thing in my situation.”
PHILIP
“Sounds like a pretty decent guy … ”
TONY
“No kidding. That’s not even half of it. He has me get in the cruiser with him and we drive to down the Coffee Time but it’s closed just like everything else with the power problems they had. So we find some place that’s open, he buys me a coffee and then he drives me back to Ronces. It was bitter cold out there but at least he went easy on me.”
Tell my sister that I love her
January 15, 2009
TONY
“You should tell Sharon that I love her.”
PHILIP
“That’s a bit out of the blue.”
TONY
“I’ve been meaning to say it for a while.”
PHILIP
“So I shouldn’t worry?”
TONY
“No more than usual.”
Inequitable relief
January 13, 2009
TONY
“You look like you’ve been hit by a Mac truck.”
PHILIP
“Feels like it a bit.”
TONY
“What happened?”
PHILIP
“Drug reaction, I think.”
TONY
“Didn’t I tell you to stay away from drugs.”
PHILIP
“It was cold medicine, for God’s sake. I think I had some sort of weird interaction problem.”
TONY
“What happened?”
PHILIP
“I called a friend in New York to go out for a coffee. I thought it was his birthday.”
TONY
“Did you at least tell him happy birthday?”
PHILIP
“I can’t remember. I can’t even remember calling him.”
TONY
“So how do you know you called him?”
PHILIP
“He sent me an email asking if I was OK.”
TONY
“Well you seem OK now. A Mac truck can sure take a lot out of you, though.”
PHILIP
“Very funny. Can I get you a coffee?”
Many happy returns
January 9, 2009
TONY
“Here’s your twenty from yesterday.”
PHILIP
“Thanks. Isn’t this the same exact bill?”
TONY
“Don’t ask.”
It’s Christmas
January 6, 2009
TONY
“Phil, sorry for calling so late. I know you got the family. Do you have twenty bucks that you could lend me? You know I wouldn’t phone you otherwise but they say it’s going down to minus 17 tonight. And I’ve gotta get a bed.”
PHILIP
“OK. Whatever. You’ll get it back to me tomorrow? Never mind. It’s Christmas. Come over.”
TONY
“Five minutes. I’ll be over in five minutes.”
PHILIP
“Where are you?”
TONY
“On Ronces. You know, around Geoffrey. I’ll be there in five minutes.”
PHILIP
“OK, five minutes. I’ve got some bananas for you here I think. Maybe something else too. I’ll look.”
TONY
“I’ll be there in five minutes.”
PHILIP
“OK, bye.”
TONY
“Bye.”
Homeless Man Speaks 