The word from the street
PHILIP
“What’s this new critter here?”
TONY
“It’s my new musical mouse, since I decided to replace Elmo. The kids were getting bored because they were getting too used to Elmo and it was time for a change anyway if you ask me.
PHILIP
“But Elmo’s still here; he’s just facing the other way now.
TONY
“Elmo’s my back-up plan, in case some kid doesn’t like my mouse.”
PHILIP
“Right.”
TONY
“Yup, like I said before, the guys from 426 Division, they’re the best in this city.”
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For more on Tony and the 426, see:
homelessmanspeaks.wordpress.com/2007/11/13/my-friends-all-drive-porsches-i-must-make-amends/
homelessmanspeaks.wordpress.com/2007/10/06/homeless-man-thanks/
homelessmanspeaks.wordpress.com/2007/04/06/giving-and-taking-away/
TONY
“All this rain we’ve been having is getting me down.”
TONY
“A buddy of mine just found a bottle of Crown Royal from 1984 in his friend’s basement. This guy collects stuff that could be worth something some day and I think he might have something there. I know a few folks who’d just drink the bottle then and there, it wouldn’t matter if the bottle was from 1784.”
TONY
“You shoulda seen me last night. A guy from one of the local cafes comes outside and asks me to try this fudge bar he’s just made. So I try it and, I’m telling you, I got one heck of a sugar rush. I coulda run all the way up to the corner and back. I’ve never tasted something that sweet in my life.”
PHILIP
“What are you laughing at?”
TONY
“I was just remembering about how I nearly got myself run-over yesterday … I was crossing the road over there and I kind of just stopped in my tracks. There was this absolutely beautiful woman walking down the street and the driver almost didn’t see me ’cause he got distracted too, if you know what I mean. He and me, we laughed our guts out when she turned the corner.”
TONY
“Check out these trousers. You like ’em? They’re from when bell-bottoms were ultra-cool.”
PHILIP
“Tony, I must confess, I am utterly awestruck. They’re so new, yet so retro. So casual, yet so fashionable … ”
TONY
“Hey, just for your information, I’m not allowing any jokes about my pants until tomorrow.”
PHILIP
“What are you doing with that thing?”
TONY
“This thing? That the lens from one of those big old back-projector TVs. I’m cracking it out from the plastic housing so I can do my reading better. My glasses don’t work much for me anymore, if you know what I mean. Most people don’ know it but these lenses are amazing.”
TONY
“See Milton over there? Now there’s a guy who knows how to do a job. I’m always am telling him how he’s keeping Ronces cleaner than a whistle. If I knew his boss, I’d tell him the same.”
TONY
“So one of my regular comes down the street. She gives me 40 bucks and says that she’s going to miss me. She’s moving to California and so this will be the last time she will see me. Then she says I’ve been an real inspiration to her over the last 4 years. Really. She said that to me.
“Boy, did that make me feel good.”
Homeless Man Speaks 