Posts Tagged ‘pants’

The wrong trousers

September 19, 2011

PHILIP
“Oh man, those are some special pants you’ve got on this morning; I wish I had my camera for them.”

TONY
“You like ’em?”

PHILIP
“Errr … in a word, no.”

TONY
“Well you should try dressing on my budget.”

PHILIP
“Touch√©.”

Lonely wolf

November 26, 2009

TONY
“You really got on your high horse about politics and the election the other day.”

PHILIP
“That’s interesting. My mother uses that phrase, I mean that¬† ‘high horse’ phrase. OK, yes, I confess to intense political opinions.”

TONY
“Phil, that means you’ve gotta keep it inside your trousers, if you know what I mean.”

PHILIP
“So here, for what it’s worth, I still think Harper is toast. His last-minute pirouette on deciding to go to Copenhagen totally seals it. Cool.”

TONY
“Poor guy. Too bad, I hope he doesn’t go and off himself, if you know what I mean.”

Into the breeches

November 8, 2008

Castle and guns

PHILIP
“Hey Tony. What’s the scariest thing that ever happened to you?”

TONY
“Well maybe it’s not the scariest thing that ever happened, but I can tell you I was pretty scared.

“There was once when the ETF cops broke into a house I was inside, just minding my own businesss. Somebody — I don’t know who it was — went and called the cops that there was someone with a gun in the house and next thing you know the ETF is breaking down the door. And the next thing you know, there’s a cop who looks like a Jeddi Knight or something pointing a big gun at me and he says to me that I should put my hands up which I do right away. So I put my hands up real, real high and he says to walk toward him nice and slow. I would’ve’ walked on my knees if he wanted but he says I should just do what he asked. I told him he wouldn’t get any trouble from me and I would’ve been happy to crawl down on the floor to him if he wante.

“Well, I just about did you-know-what right there, right in my pants.

“Those ETF guys don’t fool around — you could be dead in a second. And I was just watching some cartoon on the video, I think it was Madagascar or something. I remember the whole thing like it was yesterday and I didn’t know anything about the gun or anything. I’m pretty sure that he guy who had the gun was drunk, he wasn’t really going to shoot his wife — at least I don’t think so, but ‘course you never know, that’s for sure. I was pretty lucky or I’d be in a wooden box, if you know what I mean.”

Tony hears a confession

July 13, 2008

TONY
“Check out these trousers. You like ’em? They’re from when bell-bottoms were ultra-cool.”

PHILIP
“Tony, I must confess, I am utterly awestruck. They’re so new, yet so retro. So casual, yet so fashionable … ”

TONY
“Hey, just for your information, I’m not allowing any jokes about my pants until tomorrow.”

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