Archive for June, 2011

Sick or sorry

June 30, 2011

TONY
“I don’t know if I should tell you or not, because what I saw last night was pretty disgusting, and I don’t know if our blog readers will want to hear about it.”

PHILIP
“I have no idea what you’re talking about and I’m not sure I want to know either.”

TONY
“Well, you know the old homeless guy with that big beard and pushes around the old grocery cart with all the plastic bags?”

PHILIP
“I think I know who you’re talking about …  I think I know the guy.”

TONY
“OK, Phil, I don’t know how to say this to you but he eats his own skin, I mean really eats it, tears it right off his own legs. I just saw him doing it last night and I was thinking about it now, you know. Once I even saw him do it so I got him a sandwich to eat instead. And you wouldn’t believe it but he just went and shoved my sandwich into one of the bags and went right back to eating his own skin. I never know whether to feel sick or sorry for him after seeing that, if you know what I mean.”

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Mixing it up

June 22, 2011

PHILIP
“Did we ever talk about the Stanley Cup?”

TONY
“It was bad, Phil. I always liked the Bruins since they’re one of the original teams, but you gotta support the Canadian teams first, you know. On the other hand, going and turning over cars and what they did in Vancouver isn’t Canadian in my mind. So I don’t know what you can make of all that but that’s my opinion if you ask me.”

Staying alive

June 17, 2011

PHILIP
“So, how’s your life today?”

TONY
“Well, you what they say: ‘It’s just another day.’  Well, that’s what it is, it’s just another day. At least I’m still alive.”

PHILIP
“Are you OK?”

TONY
“I just as OK as I’m gonna get right now, if you get my meaning.”

A special delivery

June 14, 2011

PHILIP
“Here’s your dollar back.”

TONY
“Well, I was kinda hoping you’d say that.”

Return to sender

June 13, 2011

PHILIP
“OK, I feel like an idiot but I need that loonie back that I just gave you. Sorry.”

TONY
“Let me find it in here … I think here it is, yup.”

PHILIP
“Thanks. Yeah, I need change for the bus; I should have checked it first before giving it to you. Sorry about that.”

TONY
“Noooo problem. It’s from you in the first place so I really can’t complain, if you know what I mean.”

New transportation policy

June 9, 2011

PHILIP
“You can’t ride your bike anymore, eh?

TONY
“Nope, no way. The legs just aren’t there anymore, if you know what I mean. Now I gotta walk everywhere and, I’ll tell you, that hurts but at least I can do it. What a guy needs is one of those instant transporters from Star Trek.”

Stirring the pot

June 6, 2011

TONY
“Were you here for all the excitement the other day?”

PHILIP
“No, what was it all about?”

TONY
“Well, one minute the street is quite, no problem. The next time you look, there’s three cop cruisers and they’ve cornered this pick-up truck and the next thing you know they’ve got the guy arrested for hauling around a 300-pound bale of weed in the back. Then, quick as before, everyone’s just gone and the street’s quiet like nothing ever happened. It was weird, that’s all.”

Regretting yesterday

June 2, 2011

A note to our wonderful readers: Sorry for the sparse posting recently. We’re back to 2-3 postings a week.   :-)
Tony and Philip
……………………………

TONY
“Man it’s almost cold today. I should’ve brought my jacket.”

PHILIP
Yeah, they said it was around 30 C yesterday. And humid too, eh?

TONY
“I didn’t like yesterday either, as a matter of fact.”

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