The word from the street
TONY
“Were you here for all the excitement the other day?”
PHILIP
“No, what was it all about?”
TONY
“Well, one minute the street is quite, no problem. The next time you look, there’s three cop cruisers and they’ve cornered this pick-up truck and the next thing you know they’ve got the guy arrested for hauling around a 300-pound bale of weed in the back. Then, quick as before, everyone’s just gone and the street’s quiet like nothing ever happened. It was weird, that’s all.”
TONY
“Did I tell you about this morning when this guy sat down on the other side of the tree from me? Next thing you know, three cherry tops show up and the cops pop out and I say to myself: ‘What did I do this time?’ Turns out they’re looking for the other guy. Well, I’m glad I got out of that one.”
TONY
“You hear about the old guy who got jumped down Ronces earlier?”
PHILIP
“What happened?”
TONY
“I don’t know but next thing you know, there’s six cop cars right there. You can say what you want about our cops but they sure can do their job when they need to.”
TONY
“Did you see that story in Metro about the guy who won the $4 million?”
PHILIP
“That was pretty amazing.”
TONY
“So he gets himself locked up when he shows up to collect. Turns out the cops were looking for him. With $4 million, I’ll tell you, for some jail time, think I would do it noooooo problem.”
TONY
You know, there’s this guy down the street, sometimes he hangs around a bar down there that’s been spooking some girls on the street, I mean some 13-years-olds even. I think he’s even been getting on the bus and following them for a bit. Anyway, I think I know who it is that doing it. I’ll tell you, the next time I get to talk to the cops, I’ve got something to tell ’em.”
TONY
“I got myself another ticket last night. I was in the park over at Sorauren and since I hadn’t slept in two nights I fell asleep and the next thing I know someone’s shaking my shoulder and it’s a cop. He even knows my name and he tells me the woman in one of the apartments was complaining about the noise which I guess she meant that I must have been snoring or something. The junior guy tells me she’s a real complainer but they had to give me a ticket anyway. I made sure they understood that they were just doing their jobs as far as I was concerned. I made sure the sergeant heard it too.”
PHILIP
“You’re amazing.”
TONY
“There he is, that’s the guy who snitched me to the cops. Remember?”
I think he might be jealous of me but how could anyone be jealous of a guy like me? There’s a nut for you.””
TONY
“OK, so you know the guy who ratted me out the other day, I mean with those tickets I got?”
So I forgot to tell you that he’d already come and told me he was going to report me to the cops. So you know what I did? I gave him a quarter! Man, was he surprised. He called the cops anyway, you know.”
TONY
“Well now I owe the government $150.”
PHILIP
“OK, I’ll take the bait. What happened?”
TONY
“I got three tickets from the cops yesterday.”
PHILIP
“How come?”
TONY
“Get this; I got one for asking someone if I could hit them up for a buck and then I got one for panhandling near a vehicle and then I got this other one. But you gotta know the best thing … you know the one for panhandling near a vehicle … you know what the vehicle was? I’ll tell you. It was the cop car that the cop who gave me the ticket was riding in. Top that, if you know what I mean.
TONY
“Did you know that I was working for the cops tonight?”
PHILIP
“What’s up?”
TONY
“There’s a guy around who’s snatching purses. He grabbed an older lady’s purse and put her in the hospital. You know, she was 72 years old and he put her in St. Joe’s.
“They thought they had him cornered in the lane behind but he must’ve slipped away. He was wearing a green jacket and probably aged around 17.”
PHILIP
“So what are you doing for the cops?”
TONY
“They want me to tell everyone who comes down the street that there’s a purse-snatcher around. So that’s what I’m doing. One sec, Phil
“Excuse me, Miss …”
TONY
“Did I show you this. Actually, I got one for you as well.”
PHILIP
“How’d you get them?
TONY
“Some of the guys from 14 Division took me out for dinner last night if you can believe that.”
PHILIP
“What … they just popped you in a squad car and sped off to the local doughnut shop?”
TONY
“Sort of like that. So after dinner, they gave me one of these things so I just asked them for another one.”
TONY
“Did I tell you about the cop who asked me if I needed her to find me a place to sleep other night? I was just up the road, actually near the place where I got that ticket a few weeks back. So this cruiser from 11 Division comes down Ronces, and it stops in front of me and the cop opens her window and asks if I need a bed. So I tell her thanks but it’s no problem, and I tell her I appreciate her asking me. And she tells me back something like: ‘Come on Tony, you’re the law’s eyes and ears when we’re not around … of course we’re gonna care about you.’
“Now that’s a decent cop for you.”
Homeless Man Speaks 