Posts Tagged ‘meaning’

How about that weather?

December 21, 2011

Hi all,
Were Tony and I to chat today, the subject of the relatively balmy weather would have almost certainly arisen, as in this hypothetical conversation.

PHILIP
“So how are you liking global warming so far?”

TONY
“I don’t think it’s been this nice on the first day of winter since [insert distant year].”

PHILIP
“Do you think it’s getting warmer, generally speaking?”

TONY
“Sometimes, but it depends on the weather, if y0u know what I mean.” [I think Tony would flash his excellent smile at this point.]

Homeless man gets new lease

October 4, 2011

PHILIP
“So what changes for you now that they’ve decided you don’t have lung cancer?”

TONY
“Not much. It’s just a new lease on life, if you know what I mean.”

Sick or sorry

June 30, 2011

TONY
“I don’t know if I should tell you or not, because what I saw last night was pretty disgusting, and I don’t know if our blog readers will want to hear about it.”

PHILIP
“I have no idea what you’re talking about and I’m not sure I want to know either.”

TONY
“Well, you know the old homeless guy with that big beard and pushes around the old grocery cart with all the plastic bags?”

PHILIP
“I think I know who you’re talking about …  I think I know the guy.”

TONY
“OK, Phil, I don’t know how to say this to you but he eats his own skin, I mean really eats it, tears it right off his own legs. I just saw him doing it last night and I was thinking about it now, you know. Once I even saw him do it so I got him a sandwich to eat instead. And you wouldn’t believe it but he just went and shoved my sandwich into one of the bags and went right back to eating his own skin. I never know whether to feel sick or sorry for him after seeing that, if you know what I mean.”

New transportation policy

June 9, 2011

PHILIP
“You can’t ride your bike anymore, eh?

TONY
“Nope, no way. The legs just aren’t there anymore, if you know what I mean. Now I gotta walk everywhere and, I’ll tell you, that hurts but at least I can do it. What a guy needs is one of those instant transporters from Star Trek.”

Circle of life

May 16, 2011

PHILIP
“I heard that there’s an experiment to help homeless people by the government actually giving them money, you know, cash.”

TONY
“Well that won’t work. You’ve got too many of us who will just go off to find something like alcohol or whatever they want. But you can bet your socks that I’d take their money if they want to give it to me.”

PHILIP
“So what’s the best approach then?”

TONY
“When you’re homeless, it means you need a place to live. So if they can help homeless people get somewhere to live, then that could work.”

Not hot

March 29, 2011

PHILIP
“So how’s spring working out for you so far?”

TONY
“I hate to tell you this, Phil, but I’m looking forward to global warming, if you know what I mean.”

Fuggedaboutit

February 24, 2011

PHILIP
“Are you ever worried about things like Alzheimer’s?”

TONY
“I try and forget about those things, if you know what I mean.”

Moving on up

November 30, 2010

PHILIP
“How are you?”

TONY
“I had a god-awful time getting out here this morning with this rain, rain and more rain.”

PHILIP
“Me too. Well, I guess it’s not the same exactly, is it? Sorry.”

TONY
“Well, you know what they say; everyone’s got their problems, so I know what you mean, if you know what I mean.”

Ain’t no cure

October 13, 2010

TONY
“You got any of that Advil on you? I’ve got a real migraine, if you know what I mean.”

PHILIP
“I may just have some in here somewhere. Wait a second … Here ya go.”

TONY
“Thanks. What a way to start a day, eh?”

Homeless is as homeless does

September 25, 2010

TONY
“I slept in one smelly empty trailer last night, believe it or not.”

PHILIP
“No offense but it’s not too hard to believe about a homeless guy. Sorry if that was a mean thing to say; I didn’t mean it that way.”

TONY
“Well it was a bit mean but I guess I gotta admit it’s true. But I’ll tell you one thing:  It’s no fun sleeping rough when you’ve gotten to my age.  At least it’s not winter or anything.  You know, I’ve been mostly sleeping at least somewhere that wouldn’t get me arrested if anyone knew where I was, if you know my meaning.”

A medium of exchange

September 18, 2010

PHILIP
“What’s that bill you’ve got there?  It looks like foreign money.”

TONY
“Yup. It’s fifty pesos from down in Mexico. The guy said it was worth about four bucks. I hope I can sell it to someone. I ain’t planning on going to Mexico any time soon, that’s for sure.”

Inside the jungle

June 13, 2010

PHILIP
“Someone asked me about Bruce, you know, the homeless guy who sometimes would make trouble in Alternative Grounds. Do you know what’s going on with him now?”

TONY
“Nothing in a while now. I’ll do my checking with my jungle telegraph and get back to you on that, if you know what I mean.”

On the double

June 8, 2010

TONY
“Phil, how about I buy you a coffee this morning?”

PHILIP
“Now that’s an offer I can’t refuse.”

TONY
“That’s the idea, if you know what I mean.”

Begging the question

May 25, 2010

PHILIP
“Tony, is there anything good about being homeless?”

TONY
“That’s like asking if there’s anything good about having cancer.”

PHILIP
“Sorry.”

TONY
“Don’t worry; it was a good question, if you know what I mean.”

Falling like flies

May 17, 2010

TONY
“You know that guy Stan, he sometimes hung around that new place you sometimes go. You know, ‘Lit‘, down the street there, you know that one, the one called ‘Lit’. Anyway they found him lying dead there where he got that room, down on King there. That’s another one down. We’re falling like flies, if you know what I mean.”

Or else

May 11, 2010

PHILIP
“You want to hear my favourite quote?  I just put it up on the chalkboard in Alternative Grounds. It’s from Lincoln. So the quote is: “Have I not destroyed my enemies if I have made friends of them?’  Deep, eh?”

TONY
“You’re not kidding!  That’s what you gotta do if you’re where I am — or else.”

When it’s free

March 11, 2010

TONY
“I got myself a new t-shirt. I’ll show you. Here you go.”

PHILIP
“It’s lovely.”

TONY
“Especially when it’s free, if you know what I mean.”

Wasted time

February 25, 2010

TONY
“I think I told you already about that case where I’m being called as a witness. So, I went down to courthouse today and we got remanded to December. There’s a waste of $6 of transit fare. Plus, what a waste of time, if you know what mean.”

At least it’s a dry cold

December 14, 2009

PHILIP
“Did you hear about Edmonton? Their temperature dropped to -46 degrees [-51 F]. Now that’s cold.”

TONY
“But you gotta remember it’s dry cold. And I know the difference, if you know what I mean.”

At the end of the rainbow

July 16, 2009

Old brinks truck - July 15 2009

TONY
“Man, I’d love to win that $32 million prize they’ve got on 6/49 tonight. I can tell you one thing for sure … if I had a ticket for it and I won it, you can bet I wouldn’t be coming into work tomorrow. Neither would you either, Phil, if you know what I mean.”

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