TONY
“There’s that lady I was telling you about, the one that’s started leaving me those bananas. She’s a great one if you ask me.”
Archive for July, 2009
Just bananas
July 29, 2009Can’t you read the sign?
July 27, 2009
TONY
“You see all those signs over there? Well this guy comes driving down Ronces and — right in front of a policeman standing right there he drives right round those signs there so the cop knocks on his windows and asks him how big those signs have to be so the guy could read them. And you know, I think the old guy couldn’t even read, if you ask me.”
A fine balance
July 24, 2009
TONY
“Did you see that story in Metro about the guy who won the $4 million?”
PHILIP
“That was pretty amazing.”
TONY
“So he gets himself locked up when he shows up to collect. Turns out the cops were looking for him. With $4 million, I’ll tell you, for some jail time, think I would do it noooooo problem.”
They got him
July 23, 2009
TONY
“Look what I got.”
PHILIP
“No.”
TONY
“Yup, two of ’em. $220 for breaking the Highway Traffic Act.”
PHILIP
“What for?”
“Well, I didn’t come to a complete stop at a stop sign and also I didn’t have a bell.”
PHILIP
“They’re hittiing you up for $110 for not coming to a complete stop on your bicycle?”
TONY
“Yup. They got me on that one.”
How’s it hanging?
July 20, 2009
TONY
“So this lady walks by, like she does sometimes. She’s got a cane and she’s gotta be 80 or 85 or something. So she asks me : ‘How’s it hanging?’ I didn’t expect that, if you know what I mean. We both laughed, I can tell you.”
Asking and getting
July 17, 2009
TONY
“If you don’t ask, you don’t get. So I ask.”
At the end of the rainbow
July 16, 2009
TONY
“Man, I’d love to win that $32 million prize they’ve got on 6/49 tonight. I can tell you one thing for sure … if I had a ticket for it and I won it, you can bet I wouldn’t be coming into work tomorrow. Neither would you either, Phil, if you know what I mean.”
It’s pretty simple
July 9, 2009
TONY
“You see that guy with the black and yellow jacket? He’s going to be the next one to die.
PHILIP
“What do you mean by ‘next guy to die’ ?”
TONY
“You know, after Lefty. We did a post on the blog about him. You remember?
PHILIP
“OK, now I get it. Why is he going to die next?”
TONY
“It’s pretty simple. He told me the other day.”
Smelling the coffee
July 6, 2009
TONY
“Coffee smells pretty good first thing in the morning, if you ask me.”
PHILIP
“Where’s it from?”
TONY
“This lady came by, she was from the States and she told me to ‘have a good Independence Day’. So, just to bug her, since she’s a Yank, I say: ‘Oh, isn’t that an American version of our Canada Day? Well, we both laughed and then she got me this coffee.”
Something to say
July 4, 2009
TONY
You know, there’s this guy down the street, sometimes he hangs around a bar down there that’s been spooking some girls on the street, I mean some 13-years-olds even. I think he’s even been getting on the bus and following them for a bit. Anyway, I think I know who it is that doing it. I’ll tell you, the next time I get to talk to the cops, I’ve got something to tell ’em.”
Homeless Man Speaks 