Archive for July, 2009

Just bananas

July 29, 2009

banana-1967 -- July 29 2009

“There’s that lady I was telling you about, the one that’s started leaving me those bananas. She’s a great one if you ask me.”

Can’t you read the sign?

July 27, 2009

Road signs - July 27 2009

“You see all those signs over there? Well this guy comes driving down Ronces and — right in front of a policeman standing right there he drives right round those signs there so the cop knocks on his windows and asks him how big those signs have to be so the guy could read them. And you know, I think the old guy couldn’t even read, if you ask me.”

A fine balance

July 24, 2009

Mondrian - July 24 2009

“Did you see that story in Metro about the guy who won the $4 million?”

“That was pretty amazing.”

“So he gets himself locked up when he shows up to collect. Turns out the cops were looking for him. With $4 million, I’ll tell you, for some jail time, think I would do it noooooo problem.”

They got him

July 23, 2009

220 dollars - Jul 23 2009

“Look what I got.”


“Yup, two of ’em. $220 for breaking the Highway Traffic Act.”

“What for?”

“Well, I didn’t come to a complete stop at a stop sign and also I didn’t have a bell.”

“They’re hittiing you up for $110 for not coming to a complete stop on your bicycle?”

“Yup. They got me on that one.”

How’s it hanging?

July 20, 2009

michelangelo_david2 - July 20 2009

“So this lady walks by, like she does sometimes. She’s got a cane and she’s gotta be 80 or 85 or something. So she asks me : ‘How’s it hanging?’  I didn’t expect that, if you know what I mean. We both laughed, I can tell you.”

Asking and getting

July 17, 2009

Albrecht_Dürer_Betende_Hände - July 17 2009

“If you don’t ask, you don’t get. So I ask.”

At the end of the rainbow

July 16, 2009

Old brinks truck - July 15 2009

“Man, I’d love to win that $32 million prize they’ve got on 6/49 tonight. I can tell you one thing for sure … if I had a ticket for it and I won it, you can bet I wouldn’t be coming into work tomorrow. Neither would you either, Phil, if you know what I mean.”

It’s pretty simple

July 9, 2009

Robert McNamara - July 9 2009

“You see that guy with the black and yellow jacket? He’s going to be the next one to die.

“What do you mean by ‘next guy to die’ ?”

“You know, after Lefty.  We did a post on the blog about him. You remember?

“OK, now I get it. Why is he going to die next?”

“It’s pretty simple. He told me the other day.”

Smelling the coffee

July 6, 2009

Obama with coffee cup - July 6 2009

“Coffee smells pretty good first thing in the morning, if you ask me.”

“Where’s it from?”

“This lady came by, she was from the States and she told me to ‘have a good Independence Day’.  So, just to bug her, since she’s a Yank, I say: ‘Oh, isn’t that an American version of our Canada Day?  Well, we both laughed and then she got me this coffee.”

Something to say

July 4, 2009

Demosthenes - july 4 2009

You know, there’s this guy down the street, sometimes he hangs around a bar down there that’s been spooking some girls on the street, I mean some 13-years-olds even. I think he’s even been getting on the bus and following them for a bit. Anyway, I think I know who it is that doing it. I’ll tell you, the next time I get to talk to the cops, I’ve got something to tell ’em.”

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