Archive for June, 2007

Smog alert

June 28, 2007

Coal mine birdCoal mine birdCoal mine birdCoal mine birdCoal mine birdCoal mine birdCoal mine birdCoal mine bird

“That smog was really bad yesterday. I didn’t get here ’til 3:30pm. Anyway, thank God I got myself one of those Ventolins. You know, it’s harder than most people think, working in the summer.”

It’s just another day

June 26, 2007

“I got evicted last night.”

“Sorry, gotta run. Can you tell me about it later?”

The choice

June 25, 2007

Bearded elegance

One of my regulars just shaved off his beard. So I asked this woman who’s also one my regulars if I should shave my beard off. She said I’d look younger without it but I look more elegant with the beard so I’m keeping it.

Hurting on the ground

June 21, 2007

Riding a white steed

“You look like you’re in pain.”

“That’s because I saved an old guy from being run over on the other day. This old man with was hobbling on his two canes out to the streetcar. Then there was this white car that was just racing down the curb lane, and you could just see it wasn’t going to stop. So I called out to the old guy but he just said that the car would stop but you could see that it wasn’t going to. So I reached out in the road and pulled the old guy back to the sidewalk just in time and, you know, the white car didn’t stop, like I said.

“So luckily there was a cop on the other side of the street and he sees pretty much the whole thing, so the cop gets out from the cruiser and waves down this car and the driver gets out of the car and just keels right over. One thing I can tell you is that I’ve been pretty drunk in my life but I was never that drunk. You know that driver just left a local bar and now he’s in the slammer and you can bet he’s gonna be put up for a while. Anyway, I threw my back out when I saved the old man which is why I wasn’t here yesterday. I couldn’t even get up off the ground in the morning and it’s still hurting pretty bad but at least I saved the guy.

“You wouldn’t have any Advil or something?”

The family picture

June 19, 2007

Tony’s family

Tony asks for your help

June 18, 2007

I’m looking for two people that I’ve lost touch with. Do you you know where I can find the following two people:

– Rose Bouffard (approx. 60 yrs old) — my sister
– Sean Bouffard (approx. 40 yrs old) — my nephew

I don’t have any photos. They’re probably somewhere in Canada.

Thanks for any help you can give me.


Mysteries of the cross

June 18, 2007

“Phil, do you have some wood glue at home that I could borrow?”

“I know it’s none of my business, but what do you need glue for?”

“I sometimes carve miniature crosses for people, you know like the one Jesus used but that you can hang around your neck. I promised someone a special cross and I need some glue for it.”

“You never told me about carving crosses. When did you start that?”

“Phil, I hate to burst your bubble but there’s lots of things you don’t know about me.”

Re-opening the doors of perception

June 13, 2007

Glad Day

So did you hear that they’ve bought the Revue and they’re going to keep it a movie theatre? It’s a good thing they’re going to keep it going since it was kind of a fixture for Roncesvalles. It was pretty sad when they closed it.”

The Good Samaritan

June 12, 2007

The Good Samaritan

“What happened to you?”

“I fell down on the sidewalk over on Sunday, just around the corner there on Sorauren where Dundas is. So when I come to, I’ve got this big scratch along the side of my head here, and I could feel my body tingling all over. You know, nobody helped me get back up for 20 minutes until this Good Samaritan, this Polish guy, he helped me stand up.

“Anyway, yesterday I went down to emergency and the doc says I’ve got to watch what I eat since I’ve got a hairline break up in the bone in my cheek. So now I can’t eat anything that’s too chewy and the doc said I was — well I’m not going to repeat what he said if it’s going on the blog.

“If this keeps up, one day I’m going to hurt myself.”

Respect for the opinions of mankind

June 10, 2007

Declaration of Independence

“Did you see that story about Paul Bernardo; he’s up on another charge. And that other one, Homolka, she got away with murder. Now she’s out and I think she’s even got a kid. She was there killing those girls too and she’s not paying for it. She’s just scum, just like he is. The justice system screwed up that one if you ask me.”

Thin on the ground

June 6, 2007

“You’re looking thinner.”

“When it gets to be warmer outside, people just figure a homeless guy’s got things a bit easier than in the wintertime, which is true but you still gotta eat.”

Au pays des aveugles

June 4, 2007

Homeless Croatian

“You know the preacher fellow who’s been coming by here a couple times a week? The other day, he comes by and says that I have it pretty good, at least compared to some other guy he knows. Then he shows me a photo [above] that he just brought back from a trip to Croatia — that’s the preacher on the left. The other guy, that’s the one he was talking about, you can see that guy’s in bad shape. Personally, I feel sorry for the guy.”

The girl next door, interrupted

June 1, 2007

Birds and bees

“I remember when I was about 9 year old, I was on the roof of our house and I fell off. I was up there learning about sex with about the girl from next door. I didn’t know nothing about sex, so she was kind of teaching me if you know what I mean. We were just getting going when I felt someone grabbing my ankle — later I found out it was my Mom who grabbed me. Anyway, I took off across the roof and just fell right off. I was a bit knocked out after that but I remember my Mom coming over to me and she asked what I was doing up on the roof before. Of course, I tell her nothing much. So we go inside, and I’m still not figuring out that I don’t have my pants on. So next thing you know, the girl comes to our front door and gives my pants to my Mom.

“I was off girls for a while after that.”

PS: Tony to the emergency ward at St. Joseph’s Hospital earlier this week and was advised to begin using a Ventolin (or equivalent) aerosol pump to keep him breathing properly. As such, he needs a regular supply of them. If anyone knows an inexpensive means of acquiring them, Tony would love to hear from you. Please add a comment below or click me at philip [@] Thanks.

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