Archive for the 'run over' Category

My friends all drive Porsches, I must make amends

November 13, 2007

Trojan porsche

“Phil, you should hear what happened to me Saturday night:

I was paying my respects to Silvio, the homeless guy who got killed in September down at King and Ronces, the guy I told you about and we wrote in the blog. So I got on my bike and I start coughing and coughing and coughing, you know, because of my pneumonia. Anyway, I was riding down King Street while I was coughing my ass off — guess who comes around the corner down near Dufferin? I’ll tell you who came around the corner. It was that same fire truck from 426 Division, you know the one that saved me from being run over last winter and it’s also the same one that ran over my friend a few months back. So I nearly hit this truck — but I don’t — but there’s this car behind the truck and this car is totally new, shined up and everything. Plus, believe it or not, it’s a new Porsche 911. I’m not kidding you. So I try to miss hitting the Porsche but I wiped out, into into the back quarter panel. So, of course, the guy gets out of the car, of course he’s pissed at me, and I’m telling you, he’s six-foot-something and he’s got biceps that could crack walnuts. So he looks at down me and says: ‘I know you. You’re’ So he’s was pretty nice to me considering but now I owe him $100.”

Hurting on the ground

June 21, 2007

Riding a white steed

“You look like you’re in pain.”

“That’s because I saved an old guy from being run over on the other day. This old man with was hobbling on his two canes out to the streetcar. Then there was this white car that was just racing down the curb lane, and you could just see it wasn’t going to stop. So I called out to the old guy but he just said that the car would stop but you could see that it wasn’t going to. So I reached out in the road and pulled the old guy back to the sidewalk just in time and, you know, the white car didn’t stop, like I said.

“So luckily there was a cop on the other side of the street and he sees pretty much the whole thing, so the cop gets out from the cruiser and waves down this car and the driver gets out of the car and just keels right over. One thing I can tell you is that I’ve been pretty drunk in my life but I was never that drunk. You know that driver just left a local bar and now he’s in the slammer and you can bet he’s gonna be put up for a while. Anyway, I threw my back out when I saved the old man which is why I wasn’t here yesterday. I couldn’t even get up off the ground in the morning and it’s still hurting pretty bad but at least I saved the guy.

“You wouldn’t have any Advil or something?”

Giving and taking away

April 6, 2007

Losing a friend

“Phil, you’ll just never believe this.

“A friend of mine, his name was Jerry — I’ve known him for about 10 years — he got killed in an accident on Monday night. What’s unbelievable is that he was run over by a firetruck from 426 Division, and the guy driving the truck was the same guy in the same truck who saved my ass a few weeks ago when I got hit by that car. Anyway, the firetruck driver was so shaken up he couldn’t move the truck off my friend’s chest. Even the Chief couldn’t do it. Then the firetruck driver finds out it’s Jerry he just ran over, and he knew Jerry all the way back in high school.

“I can’t believe it myself.”

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