Archive for the 'cop' Category

State of denial

September 17, 2007

 Dylan Thomas

“I didn’t see you at the [Roncesvalles] street festival this weekend.”

“Well, one of the cops asked me not to be in the festival area. You know, you can see his point; folks just want to be having fun at the festival. They don’t want to be bothered by a guy like me. Anyway, I told the cop it was no problem … he was just doing his job, just the same as I was doing mine. Then he goes and cracks me up when he says: ‘Yeah, but I prefer my job to yours.’

“You gotta agree with him on that one.”

Ten easy pieces

July 14, 2007

Guns in hand

“You should’ve seen the cop take-down over where the 7-11 used be, you know just over the bridge near Lansdowne. I was on my bike and there were guys were selling guns, right there in the parking lot. Four cop cars come screaming in, they must have been doing 60.

“Believe it or not, these were loaded guns they were selling — someone said they’d sold 10 of them before the cops showed up. So now there’s 10 more guns on the street. If you ask me, there’s too many guns out there already.”

Hurting on the ground

June 21, 2007

Riding a white steed

“You look like you’re in pain.”

“That’s because I saved an old guy from being run over on the other day. This old man with was hobbling on his two canes out to the streetcar. Then there was this white car that was just racing down the curb lane, and you could just see it wasn’t going to stop. So I called out to the old guy but he just said that the car would stop but you could see that it wasn’t going to. So I reached out in the road and pulled the old guy back to the sidewalk just in time and, you know, the white car didn’t stop, like I said.

“So luckily there was a cop on the other side of the street and he sees pretty much the whole thing, so the cop gets out from the cruiser and waves down this car and the driver gets out of the car and just keels right over. One thing I can tell you is that I’ve been pretty drunk in my life but I was never that drunk. You know that driver just left a local bar and now he’s in the slammer and you can bet he’s gonna be put up for a while. Anyway, I threw my back out when I saved the old man which is why I wasn’t here yesterday. I couldn’t even get up off the ground in the morning and it’s still hurting pretty bad but at least I saved the guy.

“You wouldn’t have any Advil or something?”

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