PHILIP
“You look like you’re in pain.”
TONY
“That’s because I saved an old guy from being run over on the other day. This old man with was hobbling on his two canes out to the streetcar. Then there was this white car that was just racing down the curb lane, and you could just see it wasn’t going to stop. So I called out to the old guy but he just said that the car would stop but you could see that it wasn’t going to. So I reached out in the road and pulled the old guy back to the sidewalk just in time and, you know, the white car didn’t stop, like I said.
“So luckily there was a cop on the other side of the street and he sees pretty much the whole thing, so the cop gets out from the cruiser and waves down this car and the driver gets out of the car and just keels right over. One thing I can tell you is that I’ve been pretty drunk in my life but I was never that drunk. You know that driver just left a local bar and now he’s in the slammer and you can bet he’s gonna be put up for a while. Anyway, I threw my back out when I saved the old man which is why I wasn’t here yesterday. I couldn’t even get up off the ground in the morning and it’s still hurting pretty bad but at least I saved the guy.
“You wouldn’t have any Advil or something?”
Homeless Man Speaks 