Archive for the 'fear' Category

Into the breeches

November 8, 2008

Castle and guns

“Hey Tony. What’s the scariest thing that ever happened to you?”

“Well maybe it’s not the scariest thing that ever happened, but I can tell you I was pretty scared.

“There was once when the ETF cops broke into a house I was inside, just minding my own businesss. Somebody — I don’t know who it was — went and called the cops that there was someone with a gun in the house and next thing you know the ETF is breaking down the door. And the next thing you know, there’s a cop who looks like a Jeddi Knight or something pointing a big gun at me and he says to me that I should put my hands up which I do right away. So I put my hands up real, real high and he says to walk toward him nice and slow. I would’ve’ walked on my knees if he wanted but he says I should just do what he asked. I told him he wouldn’t get any trouble from me and I would’ve been happy to crawl down on the floor to him if he wante.

“Well, I just about did you-know-what right there, right in my pants.

“Those ETF guys don’t fool around — you could be dead in a second. And I was just watching some cartoon on the video, I think it was Madagascar or something. I remember the whole thing like it was yesterday and I didn’t know anything about the gun or anything. I’m pretty sure that he guy who had the gun was drunk, he wasn’t really going to shoot his wife — at least I don’t think so, but ‘course you never know, that’s for sure. I was pretty lucky or I’d be in a wooden box, if you know what I mean.”

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