PHILIP
“You’re looking a bit pale this morning.”
TONY
“I’m sure I am. So, here’s my question to you for this morning. See if you can guess why a cop evicted me from a park last night?”
PHILIP
“OK I give up.”
TONY
“Some lady didn’t like that I was snoring so loud in the park. Seems her cat tore right through the window screen because of all the noise I was making. So she called the cops. She even wants me to pay for a new window screen for her.
“I never knew that it was against the law to snore too loud but it is.”
PHILIP
“C’mon, you’re just making this up, right?”
TONY
“No word of a lie, Phil. It’s what actually happened.”
Homeless Man Speaks 
