September 28, 2007
PHILIP
“Where were you?”
TONY
“I was in the garage. I was so sick that I couldn’t get up for two days. Then Doug brings me one of those expensive sodas in those little glass bottles. I have one sip and I just start ralphing, I mean I was doing it for 20 minutes. So Doug is holding this trash bag and telling me it smells really terrible, which it did but I couldn’t stop it. So I thought I had a stomach bug or something, but then I remembered that I’d eaten this huge meal just before I got sick, and it must all just’ve got blocked in there.
“Anyway, thank God it finally came out .
“Also I’ve now got this hernia here where my intestine bulges out [Tony displays a golf ball size lump below his solar plexus]. The doctors tried to fix it three times already but it just comes back out.”
Posted in big white telephone, blockage, come out, doctors, eating, garage, God, hernia, homeless, homelessness, intestines, mr clean, ralph, sick, soda, stomach bug, thank god | 2 Comments »
September 21, 2007
PHILIP
“Where were you the last few days?”
TONY
“You’ll never believe this. I fell asleep in back of a truck on Wednesday night, I think it was. So while I was sleeping, the driver drove up to Huntsville. I didn’t feel a bump, I was sleeping like log. So I woke up in Huntsville and then it took me two days get back here to Toronto.
PHILIP
“The driver didn’t know you were there?
TONY
“Nope. Nobody knew where I was except me.”
Posted in asleep, back, found, gone, Group of Seven, homeless, homelessness, huntsville, if a tree falls in the forest, lost, muskoka, Ontario, self awareness, sleeping like a log, Tom Thomson, Toronto, truck | 6 Comments »
September 17, 2007
PHILIP
“I didn’t see you at the [Roncesvalles] street festival this weekend.”
TONY
“Well, one of the cops asked me not to be in the festival area. You know, you can see his point; folks just want to be having fun at the festival. They don’t want to be bothered by a guy like me. Anyway, I told the cop it was no problem … he was just doing his job, just the same as I was doing mine. Then he goes and cracks me up when he says: ‘Yeah, but I prefer my job to yours.’
“You gotta agree with him on that one.”
Posted in Bob Woodward, Bush, comeback, cop, crack me up, dying of the light, Dylan Thomas, festival, fun, homeless, homelessness, Iraq, police, rage, Roncesvalles, see his point | 10 Comments »
September 9, 2007
TONY
“You know my friend you met the other day, you know the one, he’s homeless too. He’s looking really bad; I think his body’s about to give out on him, if you know what I mean. He’s into the mouthwash again. I don’t know how he can drink that stuff. Anyway, he’s killing himself, and there’s nothing I can do about it.”
Posted in drinking, friend, homeless, homelessness, killing himself, mouthwash, nothing I can do, Socrates, Socratic Method | 5 Comments »
August 31, 2007
PHILIP
Tony gave me a book this morning. It’s full of jokes about lawyers and written, purportedly, by a rat. Here’s his dedication. He asked me to post it and I wasn’t about to refuse. Thanks, Tony.
Posted in dedication, jokes, lawyers, rat | 4 Comments »
August 27, 2007
PHILIP
“We haven’t really discussed that murder of the St. Catharines’ guy by those four homeless people. ”
TONY
“Well as far as I’m concerned, they must’ve been provoked. Homeless people don’t get in fights with regular folks unless they’ve got to. Maybe if they’re on acid, but you gotta wonder even then. One thing’s for sure — no one’s ever going to find out, one way or the other.”
Posted in 1939, agent provocateur, attack dogs, certainty, Chester Barnard, corridors of indifference, Danzig, dog eat dog, Gdansk, history is written by the victors, homeless, homelessness, indifference, instigation, Michael Vick, Montebello, murder, provocation, provoke, Queen Street, regular folks, scapegoat, Schroedinger's rat, St. Catharines, street people, Surete du Quebec, Toronto, uncertainty, undercover, unknown, violence, World War II, WWII | 1 Comment »
August 24, 2007
TONY
“Hey Phil, I met this young guy, about 28 I’d guess, yesterday. We were talking and he asked me why so many people just don’t follow The Golden Rule. You know what I told him was that if you follow The Rule, you get it back in return.
“That’s just the way it is, you know.”
Posted in conservation of energy, golden rule, homeless, homelessness, James Joule, Joule, karma, The Golden Rule, thermodynamics | 2 Comments »
August 22, 2007
PHILIP
“I see you’ve got yourself a luxury pad for your bum, Mr. Clemens.”
TONY
“And, let me tell you, when I’m done the day, it folds up nice too.”
PHILIP
“How about we do a photo shoot?”
TONY
“Where do I stand?”
____________
PS: Question – What would make this blog better? Thanks for your comments. – Philip
Posted in bum, bums, homeless, homelessness, luxury, photo shoot, pictures, self-reference, soft on bums, stool, where do I stand | 8 Comments »
August 19, 2007
PHILIP
“Tony, have I asked you about that murder by the four homeless people last week?”
TONY
“Hey, Phil, can we talk about it tomorrow? I need to get some money for some dinner.”
Posted in Clint Eastwood, dinner, fish, homeless, man with no name, money, more, murder, Queen Street, Sergio Leone, talk about it, tomorrow, Toronto | Leave a Comment »
August 16, 2007
TONY
“Did I ever tell you about this guy who tossed me a quarter and he says to me:, ‘I hope you aren’t gonna use that for cocaine.’ So I say ‘excuse me,’ and then said to him that I didn’t use cocaine and he could take back his quarter if he wanted.
“Then he comes back another time and says that he was wrong to say what he said.
“You know, now we’re best buddies.”
Posted in best buddies, cocaine, homelessness, Michelangelo, no quarter, Paul, quarter, Saul, toss, wrong | 6 Comments »
August 14, 2007
PHILIP
I just sent this letter to the Globe regarding their editorial promoting tough treatment for hostile panhandlers (apologies for the small-size scan):
To the Editors:
Stiffer enforcement of hostile panhandling laws is both impractical and inhumane.
Any beggar, whether hostile or not, that is perceived as a pest by local retailers will be swept from the streets. Consequently, jail populations will grow, as the hapless perpetrators are generally without the means to pay fines. For those not placed behind bars, expect further overflow in our dismal mental health depots.
Are such results acceptable?
Forcible confinement of panhandlers, homeless or otherwise, is monstrous. This very point is explicitly recognized even by Calgary’s business community. Recently, TransAlta and Suncor — among many others — made a comprehensive commitment to finance a cure for the city’s homelessness problems. Provision of housing, along with requisite social, medical and psychological services are centerpiece of their plan. Of course, Calgary’s booming energy sector has substantially worsened that city’s homeless situation. Nonetheless, they have chosen an approach both pragmatic and compassionate.
The problem of beggar-related harassment and violence is serious. Our approach should be serious too.
Philip Stern, Toronto
Note: The author blogs at homelessmanspeaks.com.
Posted in aggressive panhandling, Calgary Homeless Foundation, Globe and Mail, homelessness, hostile begging, Letter to the ediitor, murder, Philip Stern, Rick George, Safe Streets Act, stabbing, Steve Snyder, Suncor, Toronto, TransAlta | 3 Comments »
August 14, 2007
TONY
“That guy who just came by? You know the one, he told us he’d be back in 15 minutes and he how he wants to buy you and me a beer at the Freshwood? I wish I could go but I’m behind on money and I can’t take any breaks right now.”
Posted in beer, buy me a beer, can't, take a break, the breaks | Leave a Comment »
Homeless Man Speaks 