Archive for the 'eating' Category

The man who isn’t there

January 7, 2008

Right about this time of winter, Tony begins to go AWOL, occasionally disappearing for as many as five days at once. At the time, I have no idea what’s going on for him. Sometimes I later discover that he was ill, typically from something he ate. Other times he’s just evaporated and I never learn where or why. Maybe he was around but not when I came by.

Nonetheless, he’s been gone the last few days.


Calling Ralph on the big white telephone

September 28, 2007

Mr Clean

“Where were you?”

“I was in the garage. I was so sick that I couldn’t get up for two days. Then Doug brings me one of those expensive sodas in those little glass bottles. I have one sip and I just start ralphing, I mean I was doing it for 20 minutes. So Doug is holding this trash bag and telling me it smells really terrible, which it did but I couldn’t stop it. So I thought I had a stomach bug or something, but then I remembered that I’d eaten this huge meal just before I got sick, and it must all just’ve got blocked in there.

“Anyway, thank God it finally came out .

“Also I’ve now got this hernia here where my intestine bulges out [Tony displays a golf ball size lump below his solar plexus]. The doctors tried to fix it three times already but it just comes back out.”

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