The word from the street
TONY
“You know my friend you met the other day, you know the one, he’s homeless too. He’s looking really bad; I think his body’s about to give out on him, if you know what I mean. He’s into the mouthwash again. I don’t know how he can drink that stuff. Anyway, he’s killing himself, and there’s nothing I can do about it.”
PHILIP
“What are you up to?”
TONY
“I’m tending my garden; what do you think?”
PHILIP
“So what’s with the new plants?”
TONY
“Some idiot went and pulled up half my plants last night. So I’m replanting like you see. I gotta keep my garden growing.”
PHILIP
“We haven’t really discussed that murder of the St. Catharines’ guy by those four homeless people. ”
TONY
“Well as far as I’m concerned, they must’ve been provoked. Homeless people don’t get in fights with regular folks unless they’ve got to. Maybe if they’re on acid, but you gotta wonder even then. One thing’s for sure — no one’s ever going to find out, one way or the other.”
TONY
“Hey Phil, I met this young guy, about 28 I’d guess, yesterday. We were talking and he asked me why so many people just don’t follow The Golden Rule. You know what I told him was that if you follow The Rule, you get it back in return.
“That’s just the way it is, you know.”
PHILIP
“I see you’ve got yourself a luxury pad for your bum, Mr. Clemens.”
TONY
“And, let me tell you, when I’m done the day, it folds up nice too.”
PHILIP
“How about we do a photo shoot?”
TONY
“Where do I stand?”
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PS: Question – What would make this blog better? Thanks for your comments. – Philip
TONY
“Did I ever tell you about this guy who tossed me a quarter and he says to me:, ‘I hope you aren’t gonna use that for cocaine.’ So I say ‘excuse me,’ and then said to him that I didn’t use cocaine and he could take back his quarter if he wanted.
“Then he comes back another time and says that he was wrong to say what he said.
“You know, now we’re best buddies.”
PHILIP
I just sent this letter to the Globe regarding their editorial promoting tough treatment for hostile panhandlers (apologies for the small-size scan):
To the Editors:
Stiffer enforcement of hostile panhandling laws is both impractical and inhumane.
Any beggar, whether hostile or not, that is perceived as a pest by local retailers will be swept from the streets. Consequently, jail populations will grow, as the hapless perpetrators are generally without the means to pay fines. For those not placed behind bars, expect further overflow in our dismal mental health depots.
Are such results acceptable?
Forcible confinement of panhandlers, homeless or otherwise, is monstrous. This very point is explicitly recognized even by Calgary’s business community. Recently, TransAlta and Suncor — among many others — made a comprehensive commitment to finance a cure for the city’s homelessness problems. Provision of housing, along with requisite social, medical and psychological services are centerpiece of their plan. Of course, Calgary’s booming energy sector has substantially worsened that city’s homeless situation. Nonetheless, they have chosen an approach both pragmatic and compassionate.
The problem of beggar-related harassment and violence is serious. Our approach should be serious too.
Philip Stern, Toronto
Note: The author blogs at homelessmanspeaks.com.
TONY
“You see that guy on the bicycle? Now him you’ve gotta keep your eyes open for.”
PHILIP
“That guy? Why?”
TONY
“You see how he rode by that parked car, the white one over there? He slowed right down when he saw something on her car seat, probably it’s her purse. So he does a couple of u-turns so he can ride by her car again and grab the purse. If you ask me, the only reason he didn’t grab for it is that she was just coming back out the store. I’ll bet you she’ll never know what just went down, which is like most people if you ask me.”
PHILIP
… since his nephew placed a comment under “Nothing rhymes with orange” — also see previous post immediately below. As such, he doesn’t know about his nephew’s comment, which (I believe) could bode a life-changing re-connection in Tony’s life. I’m out of web range until Saturday, Aug. 11th. If you’re a Roncesvalles local and you see Tony, please relate the gist of his nephew’s message.
Thanks.
Please see the first comment in Tony’s July 2nd posting, “Nothing rhymes with orange“.
PHILIP
“Where would you live if money wasn’t a problem?”
TONY
“I’d get myself a nice trailer and some land in the bush somewhere .”
TONY
“You know, I used to think that anybody who was out to help me was actually trying to screw me. I’ve come round a bit on that one. I think I’m better now.”
PHILIP
The Bath, House, Job story that I attributed to Tony on July 23rd was, in fact, Doug’s. Doug is good friend of Tony’s. Doug says hello to everyone who reads this blog.
PHILIP
“Did you see that Bush is down to a 25% approval rating? You know that’s lower than Nixon during Watergate.”
TONY
“You’re kidding … he’s below Nixon? Bush better pull up his socks. If he’s that bad, he’s probably missing a sock, if you know what I mean.”
TONY
“I’ve got myself a job this week. This lady hired me to take out her bathtub. I hope I can still do it; you know that those old bathtubs are heavy as hell.
“I guess that’s what happens when you go telling people you’ll do odd jobs.”
TONY
“You see that homeless guy with the beard coming across the street?”
PHILIP
“I do.”
TONY
“Well don’t go buying his story about his so-called cancer. It’s just a scam, same as usual with him.”
TONY
“You should’ve seen the cop take-down over where the 7-11 used be, you know just over the bridge near Lansdowne. I was on my bike and there were guys were selling guns, right there in the parking lot. Four cop cars come screaming in, they must have been doing 60.
“Believe it or not, these were loaded guns they were selling — someone said they’d sold 10 of them before the cops showed up. So now there’s 10 more guns on the street. If you ask me, there’s too many guns out there already.”
TONY
“You see that woman over there with that guy; the one who looks good enough to you-know what-with; the one with the body and the hair?”
PHILIP
“Yup, sure.”
TONY
“You know, she’s with that guy for his money, plain and simple. He just buys her everything she wants so she sticks around.”
PHILIP
“Where’d you get this? You know them?”
TONY
“Nope, never spoken to ’em in my life. But you know, I sit here all the time so you get to know what’s going on. It’s like I’m the local bartender but I don’t have a bar.”
TONY
“What do you think of my new bike?
PHILIP
“Where’d you get it?”
TONY
” I bought it for $40. I still owe the guy $30.
Homeless Man Speaks 