Archive for the 'smokes' Category

Suspicious minds

March 9, 2008

Hyenas

PHILIP
“Hey Tony, I was talking to this homeless guy, Randy, about sleeping in shelters. He hasn’t stayed in a shelter in at least a year and he says he won’t ever again if he can. He figures that 10% of the five hundred guys staying there are ‘psycho’ — guys who’d kill you for ‘a pack of smokes or half a tuna sandwich.’ ”

TONY
You’ve heard me tell you that before. Nobody believes it … who’s gonna to listen to one of us, if you know what I mean?”

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Tony in jail — Update #1

January 27, 2007

PHILIP
I visited Tony in jail yesterday. He’ll be there for another 20 days or so, as a result of three minor offences, including a “failure to appear” charge pertaining to the trial for the other two minor offences. However, he’s got two further charges against him that are more serious. These could send him to prison for up to two years as I understand it. Tony wanted to make clear that none of the charges allege any actual or attempted physical harm to anyone. Also, he emphasized that these charges relate to events that occurred well before we started this blog.

Tony asks that if one of his readers is a lawyer — or knows one — who could handle Tony’s case, please email Philip at philip [at] sternthinking.com.

Separately, you are heartily invited to visit him (the Don Jail is located at Broadview and Gerrard). Visiting hours are 130pm – 4pm, 7 days a week. Just tell the front guard that you’re his friend. His full name is Anthony Clemens.

__________

PHILIP
“How are you?”

TONY
“Well I’m staying out of the cold. They put me in the medical ward to fix up my feet and my back and my knees and my collar bone and some other problems. They fixed the crack in my feet already; they’ve got this cream that really works. So that’s good. But I haven’t slept in 4 days so they’re giving me some drugs for that.”

PHILIP
“And they’re treating you right?”

TONY
“Oh yeah. Even when the officer arrested me the other day, he was a decent guy. He locked up my bike for me and even let me finish my cigarette before putting the cuffs on. They still have my glasses at 11th Division but I’ll get them in a few days.

“The problem is mostly that you can’t receive phone calls here and it costs 75 cents to make a call, unless you can call collect.

“Anyway, I’m staying out of that cold and they’re giving me food and fixing me up, so it’s not too bad for now. I’m not even missing my smokes much.”
 

Coffee and cigarettes

January 23, 2007

TONY
“You got a buck?”

PHILIP
“Sure.”

TONY (Tony goes outside; he returns 10 minutes later.)
“Now I’m human again. I needed that first cigarette. Now I’m getting myself a coffee.”

The benefit of vice

December 6, 2006

TONY
“There’s this guy who comes by at night sometimes. Sometimes he hands me a pack of smokes, they’re Matinees. Turns out he isn’t allowed to smoke at home, so the woman who lives upstairs goes and follows him whenever he gets caught. Then the guy pretends he’s just bringing me a pack, so there won’t be any trouble.”

Lucky strikes

November 28, 2006

TONY
“Sometimes you get lucky. There’s this Polish guy I see sometimes walking by. He asked me one day if I smoke and I said I did and so he gave me half a pack. It was a du Maurier package but with 10 DK cigarettes inside and a buck. Then the next night, he comes by here and gives me another full pack. Now the strange thing is that I can’t even talk to him because of his broken English.”

Epilogue (Nov 29):
TONY
“So that Polish guy that I talked to you about yesterday shows up today with no cigarettes fo me. Instead, he brings me a cigar. Just like that.”

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