Homeless Man Speaks

PHILIP
You got any stories that might bring a smile to your readers during Christmas time?

TONY
“It’s funny that you asked that question since I was just thinking about a funny thing that happened to me a few years ago – it wasn’t funny at the time though. This is when I learned that wooden toilet seats are better than the other plastic ones, even those thick plastic ones.

“So I was sitting on this toilet made of that thick plastic I was talking about — not one of those flimsy ones — and it just cracked under my bum. Somehow one of my cheeks got caught in the crack, and boy did that hurt. I just screamed bloody murder. Turns out it was bleeding pretty bad but I didn’t know. So I started bleeding through my pants, ’til they were totally bloody all down the back of my legs. I couldn’t sit on that cheek for almost 2 months, if you know what I mean. The wood seats just wouldn’t do that to you.”

This entry was posted on December 26, 2007 at 6:24 pm and is filed under ass, beggar, blood, bloody, bum, butt, Cervantes, cheeks, Christmas, crack, Daumier, Don Quixote, homeless, homelessness, joke, laugh, meaning, pants, plastic, Sancho Panza, smile, toilet.