The word from the street
TONY
“Coffee smells pretty good first thing in the morning, if you ask me.”
PHILIP
“Where’s it from?”
TONY
“This lady came by, she was from the States and she told me to ‘have a good Independence Day’. So, just to bug her, since she’s a Yank, I say: ‘Oh, isn’t that an American version of our Canada Day? Well, we both laughed and then she got me this coffee.”
TONY
You know, there’s this guy down the street, sometimes he hangs around a bar down there that’s been spooking some girls on the street, I mean some 13-years-olds even. I think he’s even been getting on the bus and following them for a bit. Anyway, I think I know who it is that doing it. I’ll tell you, the next time I get to talk to the cops, I’ve got something to tell ’em.”
TONY
“My friend Lefty died on Thursday last week. You know, he’s the one who was homeless and was in front of the Beer Store over on Dundas. Man, there were tears that came to my eyes when I heard about him. I want to pass on my sincerest condolences to everyone in his family. You know, in a way, Lefty died from loneliness.”
……..
Addendum (July 8): Tony found a great article about Lefty in the Toronto Star of July 5th.
PHILIP
“Where were you yesterday? I thought you said you were going to be here.”
TONY
“I was down at St. Joe’s with heat stroke …. one minute I’m crossing that overpass, the next I remember was being in the ambulance. The paramedic told me they found me on the sidewalk, which was good since I’d have been run over if I’d been on the road.”
TONY
“Hey Phil, look what a lady just gave me. Nice, eh?”
PHILIP
“Would you say that you’ve ended up homeless because of your own decisions?”
TONY
“Sure but we all know that I’m making some big simplifications when I say that. Even with me, things can get pretty complicated, if you know what I mean.”
TONY
“I feels like summer today.”
TONY
“I got myself another ticket last night. I was in the park over at Sorauren and since I hadn’t slept in two nights I fell asleep and the next thing I know someone’s shaking my shoulder and it’s a cop. He even knows my name and he tells me the woman in one of the apartments was complaining about the noise which I guess she meant that I must have been snoring or something. The junior guy tells me she’s a real complainer but they had to give me a ticket anyway. I made sure they understood that they were just doing their jobs as far as I was concerned. I made sure the sergeant heard it too.”
PHILIP
“You’re amazing.”
PHILIP
“I watched Queen singing Bohemian Rhapsody on YouTube this morning. It was pretty cool.”
TONY
“That guy Freddie Mercury, he was a weirdo but his group was the greatest, you know.”
PHILIP
“Aren’t you going to ask me what YouTube is?
TONY
“Well I already know what YouTube is.”
TONY
“Did I ever tell you about my friend where his wife smacked him in the head with a rolling pin? I probably did but it’s a good one so I’ll tell you again …
“They’d never even been angry with each other before then and they’d been married for eight years. And then she hits with a rolling pin, one day, and I’ll tell you now, he deserved if you ask me. And so he gets taken to the hospital where you know, he can’t even recognize me, his buddy. He got better eventually but it was scary for everybody, if you know what I mean.”
PHILIP
“What about his wife, what did she do then?”
TONY
“She was just balling her eyes out right there in the hospital room. I don’t think she’ll ever use a rolling pin again, even for baking, if you know what I mean.”
PHILIP
“Oh, so this is where you’re keeping your new chair. Looks like the lock is tougher than the chair.”
TONY
“You bet it is. Y’see, if someone tries to pinch it, they’ll just destroy the chair, so what’s the point, if you know what I mean.”
TONY
“Sometimes I wonder what I’m doing out here when it’s raining like this. Then I remember that I won’t get a bed tonight unless I get myself another six bucks.”
TONY
“One of my regulars told me there was an article on the Internet about that poster of me. I think she said it was on a site called ‘toronto-ist’ or ‘toronto-est’ or something like that.”
PHILIP
“OK, I’ll take a look for it” … torontoist.com/2009/05/homecoming.php [See Tony approximately a 1/4 way down the page.]
PHILIP
“How are doing?”
TONY
“My stomach’s been bad again. Couldn’t eat hardly anything the last two days.”
PHILIP
“What are you eating?”
TONY
“Nothing particular.”
PHILIP
“No wonder you’re looking so skin and bones. You gotta do something about that.”
TONY
“Don’t I know it.”
TONY
“Someone told me that there’s been no new stuff up on the blog for a while.”
PHILIP
“Guilty as charged. I’ll get back on it this week, I promise.”
TONY
“Well, don’t worry about it — it’s not like I’m perfect either, if you know what I mean.”
TONY
“Did I tell you about the photographer came around a couple of weeks ago to take some pictures of me?”
PHILIP
“I don’t really remember.”
TONY
“Well just take a look at the wall of the old Royal Bank bank right at the corner at Fermanagh and Ronces. Tell me what you think, you’ll see what I mean.”
TONY
“Did you write up the congratulations we talked about for Rocco?”
PHILIP
“Just posted it.”
TONY
“Good, I didn’t want Rocco to think I’d forgotten about their new baby.”
Congratulations on the birth of a lovely 6 lb. 6 oz. baby boy to Rocco and his family at The Silver Spoon restaurant.
Tony
TONY
“Man, I could use a cigarette right now.”
PHILIP
“What’s up?”
TONY
“I’m just needing a cigarette right now, if you know what I mean.”
PHILIP
“I see you’ve changed your sign.”
TONY
“I didn’t want the kids to feel they owed me something for just pressing old Elmo’s button.”
Homeless Man Speaks 