Archive for the 'mother' Category

Jamaica farewell

January 22, 2007


TONY (walking into a local convenience store)
“Hey Phil.”

“What’s up?”

“Just going to use their phone to see if my flowers got delivered. My “second mom” just died so I’m sending flowers. I met her 15 years ago when we were both working at this old people’s home where I was the maintenance guy. She asked me to help her get some barrels into a van and I gave her a hand. After she moved back to Jamaica, she came up from time to time to visit her kids up here and she’d give me a bottle of Jamaican rum, extra proof, every time.

She was really a second mom to me. My diabetic friend is pretty sad too. We’re gonna miss her.”

Is there a God?

January 11, 2007

“Do you believe in God?”

“Yes, because otherwise I wouldn’t be here.”

“What do you mean that you ‘wouldn’t be here’ ?”

“Let me put it this way. My mother told me that if it wasn’t for God, I wouldn’t be here. I’m just telling you what she told me. Besides, I wouldn’t have let my wife go if there was no God.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“I’ll tell you what I mean: I’d be wearing her ashes around my neck instead of giving them to my daughter. But since I know I’ll be joining her up in Heaven, I don’t need to keep her ashes with me right now.”

I should have been my sister

December 8, 2006

Tony remembering the days of ironing

“My mom would always say that my sister should have been me [Tony] and I should have been her [Tony’s sister]. I could do the chores better than she did.

“I’ll give you a funny example. Back in the days, instead of my wife doing the ironing, it would be me. See, she [Tony’s wife] learned that I could iron pants better, so they would have a good crease. You just got to have a dish towel and some brown paper. You fold the brown paper tight where the crease is and then you wet down the dish towel a bit. Then you put the towel over the paper and iron it and the pants come out perfect. Once my mom said you could almost cut butter with one of my creases.”

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