The word from the street
TONY
“You know, sometimes I think I must be pretty tough.”
PHILIP
“How come not all the time?”
TONY
“I don’t know but I guess I am.”
PHILIP
“You bet you are. I’ll tell you for sure … I can’t imagine me surviving living how you’ve had to live.”
TONY
“I can’t either, if you know what I mean.”
PHILIP
Where’s the farthest away you’ve been in your life, like Vancouver or Florida or something? You know, I can’t believe I never asked you about this part of your life.”
TONY
“Well, that would be the gates of Banff National Park. I’ve got no idea how I actually got there if you can believe that.”
PHILIP
“What do you mean that you don’t know how you got there? How could that be?”
TONY
“You wouldn’t believe it but I don’t remember a thing on the whole trip from when we started here in Toronto. It’s a 100% big blank, just totally.”
PHILIP
“Don’t tell me you were drunk or something.”
TONY
“Never. I was a limo driver, you know. You don’t do things like that if you’re a limo driver.”
PHILIP
“OK, let’s hear this.”
TONY
“It was pretty simple. I had a fight with my wife. She threw something at me pretty hard and pretty much the next thing you know, I’m asking the guy at the little corner store they have at Banff National Park if he could sell me a copy of the Toronto Sun. Well, he looked at me like I was crazy or something like that. So I asked him again and he looked at me strange again and said he didn’t carry the Sun but he would sell me a copy of the Banff Gazette. You can bet I was pretty surprised and so was he.”
TONY
“Hey Phil, want to hear about some idiot being really mean-spirited. Someone left me some cheese, a block of it, you know the Cracker Barrel kind. So when I find the cheese this morning, it’s gotten stepped on. Believe it or not, There was also a little note on it saying ‘you deserve it.’ ”
PHIL
“C’mon. You’re making this up.”
TONY
“Phil, when you’re on the streets, this sort of stuff can happen to you.”
Homeless Man Speaks 