Archive for the 'bathroom' Category

Bearding with whiskers

December 31, 2007

Bearding with whiskers

PHILIP
“Where did you sleep last night?”

TONY
“Do you like my trim?

PHILIP
“Very elegant. Where did you sleep last night?”

TONY
“My friend had locked up for the night so I went round to the my donut shop, which is where I trimmed my beard in the bathroom. I got myself into a bit of a confrontation with this guy who came into the bathroom after me. He was pissed that I’d left my beard hairs in the sink. So told him that if he hadn’t been knocking on the bathroom door so hard and pleading to get in, I would have cleaned up after myself like always. He didn’t like being shown up but after the waitress told him the same thing, he went and sat down and shut his mouth.

“Some people like him don’t see that they make their own problems.”

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A raging fire

March 14, 2007

The schoolmaster

PHILIP
“Tell me about school.”

TONY
“When I was 13, I tried to burn the school down. I was at Palmerston Public School, and I didn’t want to go to school that day. So I told my mom but she said I was going to school anyway, and I didn’t get any breakfast. We didn’t have a lot of money. So I went to school and we were having some sort of exam I think, and I asked Mr. Hoffman my teacher, if I could go to the bathroom and he said ‘no’. I figure he thought I was trying to cheat.”

PHILIP
“Were you?”

TONY
“No. He finally let me go anyway but I was really pissed. so I tried to I set fire to the school. You see, I was smoking since I was pretty young so I had lots of lighter fluid, and I just sprayed it all on the bulletin board in the hallway and lit it up. Then I kind of ‘woke up’ and I went back to the classroom to tell him their was a fire in the hallway. So they got everyone out of the school and then Mr. Hoffman asked me if I knew how the fire happened. I told him and he sent me down to the principal’s office. I got the strap and then they kicked me out of school. They sent me to Parkway Vocational and I learned more there in the shop class than I ever learned at school.”

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