PHILIP
“What’s that cheshire cat grin about?”
TONY
“It’s those butter tarts.”
PHILIP
“What did you say?”
TONY
“You’ve never heard of butter tarts?”
PHILIP
“Yes I’ve heard of butter tarts.”
TONY
“Well, I’m glad to hear that. A guy like you should know about butter tarts, if you know what I mean.”
PHILIP
“No actually, I don’t know what you mean. OK, now exactly why are you smiling about butter tarts?”
TONY
“They’re not just your ordinary butter tarts.”
PHILIP
“Am I missing something? What’s this thing about butter tarts?”
TONY
“The best butter tarts I ever had if you ask me.”
PHILIP
“OK, I give up. What the heck are you talking about?”
TONY
“Don’t you know? The new bakery next to Brad’s. You’ve seen them — they just opened the other day. It’s called Mabel’s. She gave me some of their butter tarts yesterday. They’re the best ones I ever had. You should try ’em. I can’t believe how good they are.”
PHILIP
“I can see that. Are they at least paying you for promoting their butter tarts?”
TONY
“Yup. They’re actually paying me in butter tarts, which is a great deal if you ask me.”
Homeless Man Speaks 