“What do think about the news on Britney Spears?”
“[Begin Tony’s response by inserting your favoured phrase for conveying unfettered heterosexual enthusiasm.] Well maybe some people think she’s nothing special, but I like her because she does her songs for the common people.
Yeah, I saw in the newspaper about her shaving her head which they should just leave her alone about, if you ask me. What’s wrong with shaving your head? The fire guys and the cops do it, when they’re raising money for cancer. People with cancer go bald with those chemicals and they need wigs too. So what’s someone’s big problem with that?”
“I saw a story that said she’s been suicidal too.”
“That’s probably that she’s got some problems upstairs. I always learned that you can’t pick on people with a sickness, like with crippled people. They should just leave her alone.”